I Work in Production and It's Cool

Heart Disease by the ripe old age of 10? It's in the bag, Shorty.

2006-08-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

My nephew T-Bone is coming to visit this weekend and, as I am no doubt the coolest uncle around, I want to make sure that his stay is filled with laughter, excitement and, of course, excellent cuisine. In preparation for his arrival, I've scoured the recipe websites for days, trying to find fun yet tasty creations to serve.

After multiple disappointments, I think I've stumbled upon the breakfast of all breakfasts. I wouldn't have been suprised if the heavens had opened up with a chorus of angels when I uncovered the recipe for this gastronomic masterpiece. As you can tell by my nephew's nickname (which he has petitioned to have legally changed), he is quite a carnivore. That's why this recipe is so undeniably perfect. It's utilization of three different forms of pig is ingenious. Pure culinary gold, people- sausage hair/sun rays (depending on how you look at it), pepperoni eyes and a bacon mouth- both cleverly glued to a crispy taco shell with what is quite possibly the best condiment in the world. I'm talking about sour cream, or as I like to call it- "creme fat". And don't forget about the eggs, cheese and hashbrowns- it's a veritable Shoney's breakfast buffet in one. And how about a round of applause to the chef for inconspicuously working in a veggie with the grape tomato nose! Healthy and fun?! Sign me up!

The official name of this savory treasure is the "Sunrise Taco," but I plan to peddle it as "Mr. Meat Head"- sort of an edible meat version of the popular children's spud toy. This dish has the potential to emerge as the most scrumptious entree known to man- I am quite sure of it.

Ok, I've kept you waiting long enough- let's get to the good stuff- the RECIPE:

4	Old El Paso® Stand 'N Stuff™ taco shells (from 4.7-oz box)
1	bag (1 lb) refrigerated hash brown potatoes
20	cocktail-size smoked link sausages (from 1-lb package)
8	small slices pepperoni
4	slices turkey bacon
6	eggs
1/2	cup shredded Cheddar cheese (2 oz)
1/4	cup Old El Paso® Thick 'n Chunky salsa
1/2	can (4-oz size) Old El Paso® chopped green chiles
	Salt to taste
	Pepper to taste
1	tablespoon butter or margarine
2	grape tomatoes
	Sour cream

1.	Heat oven to 325°F. Heat taco shells as directed on box. Grease cookie sheet with shortening. Increase oven temperature to 400°F. Place hash brown potatoes on cookie sheet; bake 35 minutes, stirring twice, until brown.
2.	Meanwhile, in 12-inch skillet, cook sausages, pepperoni and bacon over medium-high heat until browned. Remove from skillet; set aside. Wipe skillet clean with paper towel.
3.	In medium bowl, beat eggs with wire whisk. Stir in cheese, salsa, green chiles, salt and pepper. In same skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Pour egg mixture into skillet; cook about 5 minutes, stirring frequently, until eggs are set but still moist.
4.	Divide cooked potatoes evenly onto 4 plates. Stand warm taco shells on top of potatoes. Divide egg mixture evenly into shells. Poke sausages into eggs to resemble sunrays.
5.	Cut each cooked bacon slice into lip shape; cut tomatoes in half. Using sour cream for glue and on outside of shells, arrange pepperoni for eyes, tomato half for nose and bacon for lips. If desired, garnish with additional cheese and sour cream.

There you have it, kids- enjoy!

Back in the Saddle: The Fade

2006-02-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

Someone recently remarked to me that it would be cool if the fade were to come back in style. Ah, the fade, reminiscent of '80s icons like Kid 'n Play or the Fresh Prince. Since this haircut had a relatively short-lived in-style existence (so short it's even been called an urban legend), I thought the possibility of it's resurrection was pretty close to impossible.

But this morning I discovered that this assumption was by no means correct- the fade is in fact alive and well, it has just taken on a different host. Yes, today I witnessed this hairstyle in what I before thought to be it's rarest form- on the head of a female. Granted, this look has mutated slightly to adjust to it's new abode. The short, fading sidecut which gives the fade its name is still present, as is the length of the top portion, but it has been replaced with a primped, curled and product-ed style. I found this quite interesting and, as I had no camera handy, I decided to draw a little picture of this anamoly for reader enjoyment.

Incidentally, since it's been a while since I've seen this rare breed of cut, I checked my sources on the web to make sure that this sighting was of the real thing. What I found was a treasure trove of haircut descriptions. It's an interesting read if you have a few seconds to spare. I'm thinking about trying on the dipped mushroom cut for size the next time I grace Great Clips with my golden prescence. I don't know, something about it just sounds sexy.

Oprah Scandal in Chi-town

2006-01-27T09:23:00.000-08:00

Oprah's Chicago viewers got quite an earful yesterday during the live morning edition of her show which featured a confrontational interview with author/liar James Frey.

Oprah (a la Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman): "Big mistake. Big. Huge!"
James Frey (a la Kanye West): "George Bush doesn't care about black people."
Reports state that the show was then immediately cut off to go to a "special" press conference with none other than Dubya himself.

Unfortunately, afternoon viewers like myself got the edited, watered down version, in which a fiery-eyed Op hurled heated accusations at the author and claimed he should be "burned at the stake for his misdeeds against humanity."

all we can say is- this sh*t is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Some People Wait a Lifetime for a Moment Like This

2006-01-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

I always get the weekly email from Nightclub 9:30 about upcoming shows and lately they've been quite a disappointment. Not so this week. Who was the first magical face that I saw when I opened my musical tidbit of an email, you ask? None other than Scott Stapp, former lead singer of the greatest rock n' roll band of all time- yes that's right, Creed. It's always exciting to see someone perform who has single handedly changed your life with just one song (fyi, With Arms Wide Open). So when tickets go on sale tomorrow morning at 10am, I will be waiting at my computer, fingers poised for the Ticketmaster olympics that are sure to ensue just for the chance to breath the same air as the illustrious Mr. Stapp while he's on his solo tour. Will I see you there?

Now We Know Where He Gets His Spunk

2006-01-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

We at "I Work In Production and It's Cool" are happy to be back online after a few weeks of much needed vacation. And we're even happier to ring in the New Year with
the Redskins headed to the playoffs accompanied by a nice Portis-ized news clip. Apparently, Wilma McNabb no longer reigns supreme on the NFL moms' circuit. There's been a new mama crouching in the shadows, waiting to pounce and pounce she did. During Washington's deciding game against the Donnie Mc-less Eagles on Sunday, Rhonnel Hearn, the now famous giver of life to everyone's favorite RB/jokester Clinton Portis decided to take matters into her own hands when an upset Philly fan chucked a beer at her which was apparently not up to standard. We suspect it was a Miller Lite, but that's only speculation. Mmmm... smell that? It's the scent of a new beerlicious ad campaign starring the one we now lovingly refer to as "Mama C-Po". Might we suggest a cameo apperance by sonny boy Clinton in her next commercial- something along the lines of "My mom can protect herself. She don't drink no watered-down beer."

Something new for the blizzy blog

2005-12-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

We are going to start something new here at "I work in production and it's cool". It's called "your daily dose of adam" and it will feature this guy.

Isn't he a dish.

Please note that these posts will not actually come daily, just when I feel like it.

Happy Ho-Ho-Ho-ing!

2005-12-14T15:43:00.000-08:00

Already obsessing over what to wear to the big New Year's Eve bash? We suspected as much. So we brought in our resident expert, Biker Fox.

Yes, folks- it's that time of year again. The Evites just keep rolling in and there are so many ladies conning you into a bout under the mistletoe that you can't keep your eyeglasses straight, much less pick out a different stunningly awesome outfit to wear each day. Well the answer has been right in front of you all this time. American Tuxedo, man! Run on out to your neighborhood franchise and rent yourself a sleek jacket before everyone wisens up to the idea. You can wear this jacket in a different way every day of the holiday season- as you can see, my favorite style is the "uber-sexy" (bare chest plus jacket). This look shows off that manly chest hair, plus tells a lady that you are wild and free- you're hers for the taking. You can rest easy knowing you are the fashion maven of the male species. So don't lose one more second of sleep on anything less than who you're sleeping with next. wink.

If I was in a BAND

2005-12-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

If I was in a band, the band would be named "Hi Connie" or "Dude, where's my harem?" Or possibly "The Trendy Deacons"

The Snoutfit Chronicles

2005-12-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

After this past snow storm, I decided to take a trip to my neighborhood Sears to get outfitted in a full-fledged snow outfit, a snoutfit, if you will. It was so cold outside that I decided to leave on my newly purchased snoutfit for my walk home. On my way out the door, the picture lady caught up with me. She talked me into getting my picture taken in front of one of the new Sears "PC" Holiday backdrops, free of charge. Can't tell what it is? That's the idea, although I think it closely resembles an alien invasion. So here I am, proud as ever in my snoutfit. My pose says "DC winter, you've got nothing on me. Bring it on, b*tch."

update: This morning I walked by Sears on my way to work and there it was, a larger than life poster of this very picture hanging in the store window like one of those Abercrombie & Fitch posters of an oversexed teenager. I felt proud.

Snow Time in the City

2005-12-05T13:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's time to grab up your trash can lid to squeeze in some quality sled time before it all becomes a black, murky, melted mess.

I just hope I make it home today without a broken bone.

What's Cookin'?

2005-12-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

Dino heads are certainly a foodie item that is hard to find in the U.S., but since holiday season is in full swing, a lot of fresh markets are carrying them. Here's one of my favorite Southern family recipes, tried and true.

Dino Head Delicacy
4 dino heads
1 bottle bbq sauce
2 cans baked beans
1 gallon Wild Turkey liquor, divided (chill half)

Boil dino heads until they are tender, about 20 minutes. Drain water. Place in large baking dish and smother with bbq sauce, baked beans, and one half of the Wild Turkey. Roast in the oven for 2 hours or until eyeballs pop out easily. Pour up some big glasses of cold Wild Turkey and you're ready for a feast!
Serves 4, but keeps in the fridge well if you are dining alone

Out of the Closet

2005-11-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Ted,
Seeing that picture of George Michael made me come to the realization that my time hiding in the closet has expired. Therefore, I hereby announce my homosexuality and my
animal- like carnal desires for Goran Vinjic.

Of course, he's married so I would also take Joaquin. Oh Joaquin.

Last Christmas

2005-11-29T13:07:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas

I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year

To save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

It may have only been a few years since I first learned that George Michael was one half of the magical musical duo known as Wham!, but for as long as I can remember "Last Christmas" has been my all-time favorite "modern" Christmas tune. Maybe it's the digitized piano music that sounded so technical in the 80's, yet could be recreated on your own home keyboard simply by switching it into "synthesizer" mode. Or maybe it's the wispy voice of a young, broken-hearted man whom I later came to know as George Michael. Whatever it is, there's just something about that song that just gives me the feeling that Christmas is here. In closing, I shall steal the worldly wisdom that I saw on a t-shirt at a post-Thanksgiving dinner last week: "Often imitated, never duplicated." I think that describes my song perfectly.

What's the song that really gets your holiday juices flowing?

Gobble Gobble

2005-11-24T18:45:00.000-08:00

This was our family pre-Thanksgiving meal craft this year. Everyone carved wooden Thanksgiving-themed meal items, painted them and then annointed them with sweet holiday messages. My mom's is pictured above, but mine was a bowl of green beans which I covered with glitter (to represent salt). The message was "green beans are glitterific."
Happy Thanksgiving, guys!

All I Want for Christmas

2005-11-18T15:07:00.000-08:00

As the Christmas shopping season is rapidly approaching, I've been combing the internet looking for gifts to add to my wish list. Well, I've found it- the gift of all Christmas gifts- the one that will top my list: The Women of Wal-mart Playboy Special Edition DVD. It interests me because it's real, hard-working girls- not just some frou-frou models. Take Tesha (pictured)- she's a Wal-mart photo technician. Who knew that girl that got your shots ready in an hour had so much to offer?
I'll be having a very merry Christmas if I find this under the tree come December 25th.

You Just Don't Fit In

2005-11-17T15:38:00.000-08:00

After getting denied entrance into the Red Hat Society due to her lack of purple dress, Matilda got drunk off of several rum and cokes and proceeded to pass out in her lawn chair- naked except for her beloved red hat and blue Converse sneakies.

Hey, That's Neato!

2005-11-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

Ever since my trip to the National Zoo last summer, the hippo has been my favorite wild animal. I'm also pretty fond of propping my legs up, so when I saw this two in one coffee table, I had to have it. I especially love how the hippo is poking up through the glass the same way it pokes up through the water in its natural habitat. It's both a coffee table and a playful companion. Score!

all apologies

2005-11-14T10:34:00.000-08:00

We must apologize to all our loyal readers for last week's hiatus- we were on vacation in our great home state of North Carolina. There was so much to do that there was no time left for any QT with blogger.

While at home, we were very excited to be at the heart of the TopCats controversy. Two girls, sex acts in a bathroom stall, face punching- how could that not make national news? Still, we were the happy recipients of nightly news stories and front page write-ups ALL WEEK LONG! What we found most interesting about the whole fiasco was the timing of the incident- early Sunday, before the game- there was actually a line for the bathroom? A line so long that it caused a fight? Just seems strange, that's all. We thought that kind of thing only happened with the ladies on Saturdays at 2 am.

Since these girls got the boot, we've got a hunch that the Vikings might just open up a few spots on their squad for Carolina's notorious twosome. What could be better than Fred Smoot giving Angela Keathley a ride on his purple motorcycle? We smell a photo op., Sports Illustrated.

Peter Says

2005-11-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

Stumped over what to wear to the picnic? You can't go wrong with blue satin.

Red Hot Passion #5: Dare to go Nair

2005-11-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

When it comes to hot fashion for men, I have always believed showing off some manly chest hair can drive the ladies wild. However my trendy British connections have sent word that this fall, smooth and sleek chests are in!!

I know that some dudes are long time practitioners of body hair removal, and well I guess it's time for the rest of us beasts to jump on the band wagon. Some of my hairless mates have recommended shaving. However some of my lady informants have told me that those spikey hairs that grow back are an obvious sign of recent shaving. Also worthy of mention, those pricklies can cause discomfort during missionary style lovemaking.

The look we're going for guys is naturally smooth, sleek and greasy chests. Therefore my red hot passion suggestion is Nair. Sure the stuff smells like your giving someone a perm, but trust me the resulting look is worth it. I never suggest the passion for our readers without first trying it for myself.

This is a picture of my own chest after de-hairing with Nair.

Looks Hot right?

Our hot tip to maximize the return on this look: make sure you flaunt your medallion necklace. There should be an equal amount of shine from your chest and your bling. Your new chick will think she looking into the lights from heaven. So go home and rinse away your other short and curlies. You'll be glad you did. Guaranteed

Reaching Sticks?

2005-11-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

This is awesome.

'Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana'

2005-11-03T13:14:00.000-08:00

That's right ladies, the Jamaican sultan of reggae is at it again. Nothing reminds me more of Spring Break 2003 than Sean Paul and the Youndbloodz' "Get Busy." It was the sure fire way to get all the girls to shake their booties until the early morn'. So when I saw that Sean was scheduled to appear at Nightclub 9:30 on December 11, I was psyched out to the max. I just hope he'll break away from his new material for a little rendetion of "Get Busy"- it would make my year. I smell and encore... I'm dancing at my desk just thinking about it.

The Flu at Work

2005-11-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

I was sitting at my computer this morning, reading an article about the flu at work. Pretty straight forward info- flu symptoms, how to know when you should and shouldn't go to work, the flu shot- you know, the basic flu article stuff. At the end, there's even a little section of tips on prevention:

No-nonsense tips
Finally, a few ideas you can use and share in the workplace to help stop the spread of flu germs:

If you know you’re sick with the flu, stay home.

Get a flu shot, which not only protects you but helps prevent contagion.

Within a day of becoming ill, ask your doctor about antiviral medications, which can shorten the episode and contain the virus.

Be especially cautious between late December and early March, the peak of flu season.

Sneeze or cough into your elbow, not into your hands.

Clean phones, doorknobs and desktops with alcohol swabs.

Throw used tissues away!

Wash your hands and face often with hot, soapy water.

During flu season, never let anyone lick your keyboard.

Um, hold on- what's with that last tip? Is that supposed to be funny? Was the author tired of writing that boring "flu story" and wanted to throw in a little secret humor, much like Disney peppers their animated films with sexual innuendos? Or did he think that the story was entirely too long and that the last part of it would be cut, so he just threw it in as an afterthought? Either way, I suppose it's clever, but I think it misses the mark by quite a wide margin.

excerpt from The Flu Goes to Work, msn.com

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T10:11:00.000-08:00

As a special Halloween treat, we've posted some fun Halloween pics submitted by our faithful readers. We hope everyone has a ghouliscious Halloween!

Red Hot Passion 4: Look Yo' Best With Some Metal on Yo' Chest

2005-10-28T15:54:00.000-07:00

Traditionally a style reserved for pimps and superheros, medallions have now gone mainstream- they are a fashion must for the hip modern male. But how to choose the right one to grab her attention (and her heart)?
First thing's first, start with a gold link chain. We prefer chains that are more on the chunky side, but really any will do. Your local Wal-mart will no doubt have a variety in stock so that you can choose whatever strikes your fancy. As for your pendant, the possibilities are endless. You can always go with the traditional circular medallion, emblazoned with your favorite saying, chinese character, or religious figure. Then there are the pendants that come in shapes- such as the illustrious mascot of our country, the eagle. For those scorned by love, what about a broken heart? And for those who like to play it rugged old school- run to your local hardware store and pick up a Masterlock, a la Naughty By Nature. No matter what you choose, you will be stylin' in your own extra-special way.

Our hot tip to maximize the return on these babies: Pair your medallion necklace with your geometric print shirt. Make sure to strategically place it inside the shirt so that your gold chain still peeps out around your neckline. This way, she'll know there's a surprise especially for her underneath all that silky goodness. When she tears into your shirt like a girl on her 18th birthday, don't take it as a loss. It's definitely a gain, you see, because once she sees that there's more than one suprise, she'll be all over you like an indictment on Scooter Libby. So tuck that goodness under your buttons. You'll be glad you did. Guaranteed.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street : A halloween tale, not for virgin eyes.

2005-10-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween. Since I was a young chap in the UK, I have always looked forward to this most spooky holiday with great anticipation. I have found that one of my favorite Halloween activities-boozin and hookin up- is a transnational pasttime. Today, I would like to share with our readers one of my favorite halloween memories.
It was Halloween night of 2001, me and my mates decided we would be Sesame Street Characters. I, of course, was cookie monster. Big Bird and Snuffaluphagus were both present and accounted for. We went to this most righteous party and engaged in several hours of bourbon and doobies. I think I will tell the rest of the story in 3rd person, for dramatic effect.

Suddenly Cookie was spotted by an ex-lover, appropriately dressed as the devil. The devil then followed Cookie into the bathroom, where the devil ravished the cookie right there against the bathroom sink. Cookie was so overcome with passion, the higly flammable blue fur of the costume almost caught on fire. It was one hot night! Cookie and the Devil discretely left the bathroom, and decided to never speak a word of the illicit indiscretions.
Then Cookie fell on top of a glass table. Thankfully the blue fur cushioned the fall, and the Cookie did not crumble.

Breaking News: New Player Joins Cheesehead Ranks

2005-10-27T15:10:00.000-07:00

Take notice, Brett Favre, there's a new girl in town and she's determined to make a name for herself. In light of having hurt players and a sluggish season, the Packers have unveiled their secret weapon- glamour girl and football extraordinaire Wendi Muffington. "What's great about Wendi is that she's interchangeable for every position. We can use here anywhere," said Coach Mike Sherman. "Plus, she also brings quite the diva flare to the locker room." We look forward to seeing Wendi pull out her bag of tricks this Halloween weekend when the Packers battle the Bengals.

'It's a rare condition, in this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page'

2005-10-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

We here at I Work in Production and It's Cool don't usually get into all those heavy news topics, but there have been two stories on the radar lately that we just can't shake. Gross. Foul. Disgusting. Nasty. Sick. None of these words do justice to the stories you are about to read. We don't know which one we think is worse, but we are leaning toward the first one. Maybe because it's newer and hasn't had time to sink in yet.
Man Arrested For Sprinkling Fecal Matter On Pastries (you have to scroll down to the linked headline to read this one)
Trespassing charged in horse-sex case

One too many treats leaves you wide open for tricks

2005-10-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

DJ's friends decided to play a
little trick on him after he ate
thirteen boxes of Good & Plenty candies
and passed out from sugar shock.

Ode to Clinton

2005-10-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

When I saw you on cribs
I wanted first dibs
on you for my fantasy team.

When you were on TV
no one could disagree
your diamond studs had nice gleam.

Fighting fires was once your goal
so you bought a stripper pole
to honor your childhood dream.

But football was your calling
it was all about balling
in Denver you picked up steam.

Now you played for the 'Skins
for sure they'd have wins
with you as a part of their scheme.

Some folks doubted you
but I knew you'd come through
and restore to the 'Skins their esteem.

You proved me right in week seven
thought I'd died and gone to heaven
all I could do was scream.

Three touchdowns and cartwheels
no 49er on your heels
please make this a weekly theme.

The front page of Express
praised you as a success
Washington's shining light beam.

Now you're lighting the fire
instead of fighting it for hire,
by rushing to lengths extreme.

The New York Giants are next
your bad ass skills you will flex
and leave them stranded upstream.

I don my red and gold with pride
cause you're on my side.
King Clinton, you reign surpreme.

Red Hot Passion 3: Nectar of the gods

2005-10-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

You thought you'd escaped it by skipping 9th grade health class, but you can escape it no longer. That's right, boys, it's time to talk about a very important part of- oh no, don't say it- personal hygiene. Since that natural manly smell isn't always appealing, you need to find a product to give you a more pleasant signature man smell- yes sir, you need some body spray (aka: the hip dude's cologne).
What's most important about body spray is not that you wear it, but how much you wear. It is most vital to completely bathe your neck in your body spray, but you'll also want to mix a little in with your hair gel. Bottom line- if you aren't buying a new bottle at least once a month, you aren't using enough.
You want everyone to know what kind of man you are- and a musky, manly smell is sure to get you noticed. That girl you pass on the sidewalk every morning, the MILF behind you in the grocery line, that cute new receptionist at work- thought they were unattainable? Well they're all more than attainable once they get a whiff of what you're packing. They'll be yours in two seconds flat.
What brand, what brand you're asking? Well, anything classified as body spray will do since it's all about quantity, not quality. Bonus points if it has a matching deodorant or shower gel, a la Old Spice, Tag, or AXE.

Our hot tip to maximize the return on this stuff: While prepping for a night on the town, take the time to spray a little on your #1 member- freshness is always a must with the ladies. When her nose hairs are completely burnt off from the stimulating smell of your manliness, consider it a night well worth it- cause she won't be able to resist your, ahem, charm. So give some extra attention to your little man. You'll be glad you did. Guaranteed.

The Powerball Blues

2005-10-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

Last night, after dining on some excellent Chinese cuisine, Sinister Joe and I decided it was about time for a major change in our lives- a $340 million dollar change. We headed over to our neighborhood liquor store to score a couple of those hot powerball tickets that everyone's been talking about. Joe said that when we won he would buy a new Canadian tuxedo and I settled on a few cases of pimp cups. But we both agreed that our big purchase would be matching yellow '06 Chevy SSR's with customized Gucci interiors. I fell asleep before the big drawing, but I awoke like a kid on Christmas morning right at the crack of dawn. But alas, what do I find in the morning news? Some lucky Orgeonian stole our dough. Ripped the rug right out from under us. Bummer.

and speaking of man thongs....

2005-10-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Miami, and boy do they like 'em down there. You would think -with my pasty British complexion- that I would stick out like a soar thumb. boy was I bloody wrong. it turns out the young hot cubans like minimal to zero coverage of the crotchage just like me, Sir Jonesy. Here is a photo of some young studs I partied with.

We had a great time. We started the evening off with some light rollerblading along the boardwalk. Next it was off to Senor Frogs for the frozen banana daquiris. we finally headed up to BED where , much to everyone's delight, we ran into Ricky Martin!

This is Ted's brother Randy posing with Ricky

Peter Says

2005-10-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

If you're going out for a night of clubbing...

don't forget your man-thong.

-Peter Pan

'Everybody wanna ball, holla at broads at the mall'

2005-10-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

Always on the hunt for that special beverage holder that'll make you stand out in a crowd? Well look no further. Pimp cups have become all the rage on the party circuit. We like the 'Big Pimpin' pimp cup mainly because it 'holds up to 23 oz. of a playa's favorite cognac,' but also because the prototype is labeled 'Tuna' and we think that's the best pimpname that ever was. Which style do you prefer?

Breaking News

2005-10-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

These girls claim to have been present at the now infamous Viking Freakfest 2005.

They call themselves the booty triplets and say they just want to set the record straight on what really went down.
"That party was just a whole lot of freaky fun. Nothing illegal- the crew was mad because they couldn't party with the rest of us," said Tiplet #3.
"Yeah, everyone says that the Viks are no good, but it's only because they're saving up their energy. Those guys can throw some bangin' parties," chimed in Triplet #1. "Why's everybody hatin' on Fred? He was just trying to come up with an activity that everyone could do as a team. He deserves some claps, not slaps."
All Triplet #2 had to say was that she never wants to see Mewelde Moore again.

I know whose Starter jacket I'll be asking for this Christmas.

Red Hot Passion 2: The Hair Makes the Man

2005-10-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

One of the first things a lady notices about a man is his hair, so it's important that you take care of yours. Under no circumstances should you ever be without a little product in those locks. We here at I Work in Production and It's Cool have tirelessly tested hundreds of different styling gels. We found that the X-treme Hold line by LA Looks is the stuff that will make them go wild. Those crafty peeps at LA Looks are great at helping you choose which one to go with. On their website, they indicate which gel, pomade, whipped wax, etc. you should use when going for a certain "look." Since we prefer the "wet look," we usually go with the tried and true X-treme hold styling gel, but the great thing is that you can choose a product according to your mood. And they even give you styling tips! We can't predict when and where you'll meet her, but with this stuff in your product drawer, we can predict that she'll be between your sheets in no time. It's the equivalent of liquid gold.
Our hot tip to maximize the return: If you're seeing your special lady tonight, make sure to use a little extra. When she tries to run her fingers through your hair and it won't even budge, it will make her crazy with desire. Crazy with desire for you. So use a bit extra. You'll be glad you did. Guaranteed.

Looks Like I'm in the Wrong Profession

2005-10-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

As we all know, the Vikings have not been faring too well this football season. They were in desperate need of a team builing activity; something they could all do together to lift their spirits, when one very special guy had a great idea: Fred Smoot, you are my hero. Wait and see how they play this week- my bet is there will be a little bit more bounce to everyone's step.
caption: Player of the week- in more ways than one.

Fan Mail: "They have great powers, man"

2005-10-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Guys:
Thanks for your great fashion tips! I went out and bought myself some sweet leather tennis shoes on Friday and ended up testing them out that night. You were right - I was, as the French would say, a "chick magnet." I had my pick of the litter. Although I had one small issue- the girl that I was mackin' on ended up going all psycho-chick on me. I mean nutty. I managed to snap a picture of her as she was chasing me up the stairs outside my apartment.

Don't get me wrong- I love my leather tennis shoes. But I wish that there had been a little more of a disclaimer of how women can be prone to react to them. I thought "tiger in the bedroom" sounded great- but what I got was the opposite. Please notify readers of these consequences... she might look like a sweet girl, but there's no telling what those shoes will do. They have great powers, man.

Sincerely,
Cool Sexy Dude

Dear Cool Sexy Dude:
Your first clue should have been the navy blue unitard. Your second should have been the white boots. And her "makeup"? I'm not even going to go there. Do we need to have a lesson on how to spot the right lady?

Happy pimpin',
ted in production

Sidenote: Yes, these shoes are powerful and if you are a leather-tennis-shoe-wearing-virgin, they should be used sparingly. We suggest trying one night a week at first- all the added attention could cloud your judgement and you could find yourself in a situation similar to the one that Cool Sexy Dude described. Although your outcome might not be so lucky.

please direct all fanmail to tedinproduction@gmail.com

The Complete Look for Red Hot Knights

2005-10-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I come from the UK, and if there is one thing that can turn a dud into a stud, it is hot club fashions.
Try pairing your leather tennis shoes with a flashy geometric print shirt. The ladies will be hangin on your panty-less crotch in no time.

Red Hot Passion 1: You'll Be Beating Them Off With a Stick

2005-10-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

The "Red Hot Passions" series is a brilliant idea that we came up with after getting emails from several readers begging for fashion tips. We decided on the name because we are passionate about every item we post and about the red hot lovin' that will inevitably follow if you take our advice. Every Friday we'll introduce another tried and true favorite to all you readers out there who are seeking the manly fashion know how that will get you noticed by that special lady. You will no doubt have the upper hand in every bar you set foot in from Adams Morgan to Georgetown. For our first installment, we had to go with the Classic of all classics, the King of all kings. So, without further adieu...

That's right guys, it's the most important accessory that a man about town can possess, the leather tennis shoe. Now we know you've all seen the cool dudes around the city rocking their leather tennis shoes and you think to yourself "I could never pull that off." Well think again, brother. As soon as you feel that soft leather against your feet, you'll never go back to anything else. In upcoming posts, we will have a few suggestions on what you can pair with these beauties. Until then, sit tight- these shoes look good with just about everything.

And here's a hot tip for maximizing the return on these babies: As leather tennis shoes have the ability to turn women into tigers in the bedroom, your shoes might get lost beneath a mound of clothing. Make sure you unearth them and strategically place them somewhere on the floor so that they are the first thing your girl sees upon waking up. Let's just say you'll be glad you did. Guaranteed.

I'm Chafing in The Rain

2005-10-07T11:13:00.000-07:00

It has been two days since Ted and I made our commando style pact. And on this rain soaked day, I have experienced my first barrier to this new supersexy style:Chafing. It appears that rain on my British jeans causes irritation to my number one member.

No Mmm-ing or Bop-ing in My Future

2005-10-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

I have an affinity for boy bands, especially when they are made up of brothers. That's why when I heard that Zac, Taylor and Isaac- that heavenly trio of brothers otherwise known as Hanson would be playing at Nightclub 9:30, I was super-psyched!

But now I've been told that the boys will be playing to a sold out house and sadly, I will not be in attendance. Guess I've learned my lesson from this- you gotta get 'em while they're hot. Tickets, that is.

Danger on the Golf Course

2005-10-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

I used to say that golf was the least dangerous of all the "contact" sports. But after my friend BMW's little accident last Saturday, I'm singing a different tune. Everything was fun and games- day drinking, a little flirting with the beer cart ladies, until....

Somewhere in all this confusion, the real tragedy occurred. BMW lost his roommate's prized Gucci putter. What a crying shame.

Get well soon, little buddy. Get well soon.

Commando Style

2005-10-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

Today Jonesy and I decided to make a pact. We won't be wearing underwear anymore. No boxers, no briefs, no boxer-briefs. Not even thongs.